Answer
For the believer, the death of an unsaved loved one is tragic and difficult to process. In some cases, it seems we will never find comfort or peace of mind when we know the destiny awaiting the unsaved.
When a saved loved one dies, we miss him or her, but we do not grieve “as others who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13, ESV) because we know we will be reunited in heaven one day. But when loved ones die without Christ, we know we will not see them again, and finding comfort in that situation may seem hopeless.
Believers who have taken pains to communicate gospel truths to their loved ones feel an additional pain that asks “why?” As Christians, we wonder how anyone could refuse a gift as precious as salvation. Our joy in the Lord moves us to want that same joy for others. But the truth is that, even though the invitation is open to all, not all will receive the gift. We can take comfort that, even though we may never see our unsaved loved ones again, God is always faithful and just. God gave them the opportunity to turn to Him. God is so patient, and He leaves the door open for so long.
“Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?” (Genesis 18:25). The answer is, of course, that God does do what is right, and this is a great comfort to those who are unsure of the destination of a loved one’s soul. God is a sovereign judge of righteousness. He is full of grace and mercy to all who call upon Him. It is His very justice that offers a way for all to escape judgment, and it is in that justice that we must rest. It is grace that saves us, and it is grace in which we stand when we go through the double grief of the death of an unsaved loved one. We yearn for the unsaved to choose Christ, but some will not. Those who have passed into eternity without Christ have made their choice, but it was God’s grace that gave them a choice to begin with.
Although we may have pain in the remembrance of that loved one, there will come a time when each born-again believer will be with the Lord. In that day “God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away” (Revelation 21:4, KJV). Even if we cannot comprehend such a time, the promise should be enough to bring comfort and encouragement. When we see the Lord, the sorrow we have now will disappear: “Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy” (John 16:22). As we wait for the day when sorrow will be no more, we can lean on the everlasting arms of God, who feels our pain and comforts us with His great love and mercy.
