Answer
The 4B movement is a largely online social community of women who vow to live life apart from men. The name “4B” comes from the concept’s origins in South Korea. In the Korean language, the prefix bi- is a negative, and the 4B movement’s principles are biyeonae (“no dating [men]”), bisekseu (“no sex [with men]”), bihon (“no [heterosexual] marriage”) and bichulsan (“no childbirth”). The 4B movement advocates for permanent abstinence from heterosexual dating, sex, marriage, and childbirth. The intent is that women evoke societal change. Since 4B is a digital and unofficial movement, the goals and behaviors of each participant will vary.
Recently, South Korea has grappled with cultural and legal standards that greatly disadvantage women. Poor responses to acts of gender-based violence and widespread “spy cam porn” have inspired various reactions, including the 4B movement. In the West, alarmist reactions to abortion laws and political shifts have led some women to express interest in participating in 4B.
Parallels exist between 4B and the Incel and MGTOW movements. Each protests what they see as unfair treatment from the opposite sex. Each responds, to varying degrees, with the choice to disengage. Whether in protest, out of resignation, or in fear, these philosophies suggest cutting off all meaningful interaction with the opposite sex. All have social impacts, none of which are positive. Isolation and resentment are never healthy. Such feelings aren’t soothed by applying a label and making it part of one’s identity. Widespread refusal to engage with the opposite sex isn’t healthy for mankind, either culturally or biologically.
It’s important for Christians to understand the allure of Incel, MGTOW, and 4B movements. Factors that lead women and men to identify with such communities are quite real. Pain, fear, anger, and frustration are potent emotions. A sense of bonding with others in a similar situation can be a strong motivator.
Much of what the 4B movement is responding to is the result of a cultural rejection of God’s truth. Modern culture is learning a millennia-old biblical lesson: trying to be “free” by rejecting God’s plan just makes you a slave (Genesis 3:4–6; Romans 5:12). A move toward guilt-free, consequence-free, marriage-free, unrestrained sex results in people feeling devalued and used (Proverbs 16:25). Making sexual intimacy into a casual, meaningless act leaves people feeling abandoned, empty, and confused. In South Korea, the 4B movement seems less concerned with the sexual revolution and more with that culture’s equally unbiblical attitudes toward women. In any case, those hurt by the culture at large look for solutions. Some view their participation in these movements as a protest meant to effect change. Others believe the problems in society are unavoidable and seek to shield themselves through disengagement. They resort to cultural suicide: if I can’t win, I will remove myself from the game.
Of course, refusal to engage makes a group irrelevant—and, thanks to biology, it will eventually become extinct. Some women intrigued by 4B recognize this. They sense that a lifetime of celibacy and singleness just to “get back” at male culture is self-defeating and unhelpful. Many such women choose to target their boycott more narrowly on men who don’t share their values and who are uncommitted to a relationship. This is ironic because reserving romance, sex, and children for a committed heterosexual relationship is a simplified definition of biblical marriage. The sensible solution is a more biblical view of sex, relationships, and gender, rather modern preferences against partnership and self-control.
Solutions are only possible when both sides take on the Creator’s view of humanity. Male-female relationships are meant to be sacred (Ephesians 5:31–33) and grounded in our equal standing as image-bearers of God (Genesis 1:27). Men identifying with Incel and MGTOW culture need to take responsibility for their own personal and moral choices. Women must recognize that modern dating culture can be just as unfair and brutal for men as it is for women. Women attracted to the 4B movement should realize that boycotting all men is pointless; being selective and demanding commitment is wise. Men should understand what attitudes and prejudices drive women toward things like 4B and work to change them.
Philosophies such as 4B are not problems so much as they are symptoms of a problem. Believers should respond with compassion and understanding (Romans 12:15). People resonate with these communities because they are hurting and/or deceived. We can meet them in their pain while we suggest better ways to process that pain. We can speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). A biblical view of mutual respect, commitment, and sacredness is the only long-term solution to the conditions that inspire ideas like the 4B movement.
