Answer
Sologamy or autogamy is a concept that has garnered attention in recent years, involving a focus on the individual. Sologamy is the act of marrying oneself in a public ceremony, a symbolic act of committing to self-acceptance and self-love. In this context, sologamy and autogamy are synonymous terms.
Sologamy or autogamy involves holding a marriage ceremony for oneself, celebrating self-love. This ceremony features traditional wedding elements such as spoken vows, formal clothing, music, and sometimes even a reception—with toasts made to oneself. Advocates of sologamy argue that it promotes self-esteem and personal empowerment. Happiness, says the sologamist, does not depend on having a partner.
From a biblical perspective, marriage is a union between a man and woman. Genesis 2:24 states, “A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (ESV). God intended for marriage to be a complementary union between husband and wife. Sologamy mocks that model.
Ephesians 5:31–32 elaborates on the purpose of marriage: “A man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church” (ESV). Here, marriage is not presented as a social contract but as a sacred covenant that mirrors the relationship between Christ and His church.
In contrast to the union of two people, sologamy focuses on the individual. The self-sacrifice required in a marriage is replaced by self-acceptance and self-love. Biblical marriage emphasizes love (for the spouse), humility, and unity. Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 supports this view of marriage, stating, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!” (ESV).
Sologamy or autogamy significantly diverges from the biblical definition of marriage and, more basically, places undue emphasis on the self. Rather than seek to develop a meaningful, deep, and loving relationship with oneself, we should seek a meaningful, deep, and loving relationship with God and, as He leads, with a spouse.
